Is He Or Is He Not the one?




Is he the one?

Today, we are going to take a bit of time talking about the right man. You guessed right, we are talking to the singles.  If you are married, stick with what you’ve got and make it work. With effort and patience things will get better and better! If the “grass looks greener on the other side” as they say, guess what? That grass was tended and nurtured over time to become what it is. You can do likewise to yours.

I know every single lady is looking for Mr Right with godliness, vision, good looks and other qualities. But having said this, it’s possible to find that the good man one has found (even though endowed with all the qualities required) is not really Mr Right. In essence, he may be Mr Right for someone else, just not Mr Right for oneself.

We want to look at a few tell tale signs of unsuitable unions today:

  1. Chemistry Vs Comfort – In any relationship heading towards marriage, there is a place for chemistry and a place for comfort. Chemistry is that strong attraction between people and comfort is that feeling of ease, relief or assurance derived from something or someone. In the beginning, one should not replace the other! If you don’t have butterflies in your tummy for the man who is dating/courting you umh…think again. Both of you must feel the need to be together and look forward to seeing each other. You become more alive at the thought of each other. Therefore, chemistry is something required at the beginning of the relationship. Comfort follows the relationship as it matures and the couple become familiar with each other in every way. Couples become more and more comfortable with each other as the years go by.
  2. Common Interest – Couples in love always have something to say to each other. It may seem like there is not enough time to say all. If the opposite is the case with a couple then it could be that they have nothing in common to talk about and this could be a sign of a dead end relationship.
  3. Companionship – The proof of love has always been the investment of time and the desire to give. Couples who live in close enough proximity of each other would surely want to enjoy each others company. Therefore if the man always chooses some other activity over his time with the lady, it’s a good indication he is not the right man.
  4. Paying Attention – Important dates & information which a lady shares with her man should become dear and important to him. Mr Right remembers birthdays and other important events mentioned to him.
  5. Future plans – If a couple have been together for over 6 months and they talk about their plans for the future, these plans should include the other person. If the man talks about his future and there is no reference to the lady at any point as being a part of it, it’s an issue.
  6. Presence – If a man is always missing in action when he’s needed, what’s the point? After all, the essence of a relationship is to be help mate to one another, and fulfil purpose together.

Well, it’s that time when we say goodbye.
Hopefully, you have gained something today from our article.

For more on loving self/others, read this article.

 Have a great week.

Places to visit

My Amazon store –

Proofreading plus website –

Avon website –

What Makes Marriage Work?


The topic I’m about to talk about here really makes my heart beat. Marriage!

Having been married for almost 27 years I guess I have one or two things to say in this area so don’t shout me down now.

Like it is often said, marriage is not a bed of roses and it’s not for little boys and girls. However, on the other hand marriage can be what you make it. You will note that I said ‘can be’ and not ‘will be’ or ‘is’ and this is because just like they say, it takes two to tango and if one of the spouses does not want to work on the marriage it becomes a lost battle. Given the right mix (i.e. both spouses willing to put in the effort) marriage will work – with God on your sides.

At times a marriage can look like it’s working till suddenly after a few or even many years the couple wake up to tell the world that they are getting divorced and it’s a shock to their friends and family. The truth is that in such cases, they have chosen to make their intention to divorce public when they did but indeed have been divorced in the real sense of the word years before. What people have been seeing on the surface was just a show or at best a trial at making things work!

Without much ado I’m going to talk about some of the things that make marriage work. This is by no means an exhaustive list and there are other things one can do to make marriage work. However, I have no doubt that a lot can be gained by considering the points mentioned in this piece.

Follow me as I share my heart in this area below.

 Here we go:

1) Marriage is to be conducted God’s way: God is the creator of marriage and He has a manual on how to conduct it successfully – the Bible. In Matthew 19:6 the word of God says, what He has put together let no man put asunder. A couple must determine that their marriage is for keeps, so that nothing and nobody (including the couple by themselves) will put it asunder, period.

2) Love: Love for the greater part and trust only to an extent will make a marriage work. Many people believe a marriage cannot work without trust but I beg to differ on that.

What is trust? It can be defined as confidence in or reliance on good qualities. God never says in His Word that we are to trust others or rely on others. Our confidence should be in Him. Don’t get me wrong, it’s ok if a person believes in their spouse to some extent but this is not what will make the marriage work necessarily. Love – unconditional love is what makes a marriage work!

3) The willingness to adapt to each other: Couples must not have a dogmatic mind as to rules in their marriage if it will work. For instance, it cannot be presumed that the husband should do this because he’s the man or the wife should do that because she’s the woman. Flexibility is key when it comes to house chores. Whoever is better and more able to execute the chore should do it. Sensitivity to each other’s needs goes a long way.

4) Friendship: Couples who are friends first and foremostly have a better chance at making their marriage work. Weaknesses should be acknowledged and addressed from time to time in order to keep on top of such but they should not become the focus point. Spouses must not try to change each other, only God can do that. As friends, couples should know each other’s likes and dislikes treating each other accordingly.

5) Prayer: The Word of God says “Be sober and alert. Your enemy the devil, like a roaring lion, is on the prowl looking for someone to devour – 1 Peter 5:8 New English Translation. Couples should pray together and for each other to keep the devil at bay. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying – the couple that prays together stays together. Issues must be dealt with in prayer.

6) The ability to play: Being lovingly playful with each other adds a lighter mood to marital relationships, keeping it fresh. Gently touching/playing with each other and saying things meant only for each other’s ears create excitement in the relationship. Couples should learn the art of playing with each other is all I can say.

7) Distraction must not be allowed: Distraction can come in many forms. It could be a career, a vision, a person or anything that takes one’s focus off their spouse. Careers and assignments are just that and should never become more important than one’s spouse. Better still, one must not leave their spouse behind in pursuit of a career or vision. If another person is the source of distraction then it’s time to flee or step back from that situation.

On this note I say bye for now.
God bless you.


Resource- The Book Honey I Love You, But I Just Can’t Stand Your Touch